The Baby

3 years ago I wasn't feeling well and decided to go into the hospital.  3 years ago, my doctor made a decision that has completely and forever impacted my life.  3 years ago, I almost lost one of the most important people in my life.  3 years ago, I had a miracle and my life has been better ever since.
Lee was born 3 years ago!
It was the scariest moment of my life, and finding out from the doctor that he almost died has always stayed with me.  I truly believe that Lee has a guardian angel and that he is destined for something great.
However. . . .
Until that happens, he is my baby!  I know that to look at him you wouldn't think of him as a baby, but he is.  Lee is the only one of my children who has always loved to cuddle up with me.  He is the only one who asks for a nap with me so that we can lay down, sing songs (his favorite being "When Somebody Loves You" from Toy Story of course) and read books.  Lee is very smart and lives in his own imaginary world.  Sometimes when he is off in La La Land, I will sit and just marvel on how vivid and real his little imagination is to him.  He creates the most interesting stories and interactions in his head and is perfectly happy to just sit down with a couple of toys and play.
My Lee is a gentle soul.  He will fight when provoked, but he is a sharer.  I have never had a child who actually shares this well at this age.  Lee loves his siblings, but especially Abby and watching the way the two of them interact reminds me of how I used to be with my youngest sister.
So, as I look at this incredibly HUGE toddler and watch him grow up, I can't help but think to myself. . . . "You're still my baby".

Back to normal

I know that it seems as though I have been talking about being disorganized a lot lately, but I think,  my friends, that it is coming to an end!
As many of you know, I am a HUGE fan of meal planning.  I write up a menu for 2 weeks and go grocery shopping only twice a month.  When Otto lost his job in November, I never knew when money was coming in or how much money would be coming in and so I didn't want to spend all of our money on groceries in case we needed it for something else.  It was hard on me because I felt as though my life was in a state of chaos because I never knew what was going to be made for dinner.
Once Otto got his new job things still kind of were up in the air for awhile. . . . .
and then on Tuesday I did it!
I did my meal plan and went grocery shopping!  It was probably the coldest day of the year, but I bundled up the boys and braved the cold weather and did it!!!
Let me tell you, making that grocery trip has made all of the difference!  I now feel more relaxed and in control. 
Yes, my house is still in slight chaos. . . .
Yes, there is still mountainS of laundry all over the place . . . .
Yes, my table is covered in scrapbooking supplies from my class development that I have to get done by the end of the week. . . .
Yes, my ear is sore from all of the phone calls I have been making. . .
. . . but I feel in control and relaxed because I now have groceries!
Life is back to normal!

Headbands

Every time I work at my mom's store, I dream about all of the things I could do with the flowers in the Prima section.  Today, I took the afternoon and actually did some of them.  Check it out:

Valentine's Day

I can't even tell you how many times I have heard that Valentine's Day is a completely commercial day made up by card companies, chocolate companies, and florists.  I HATE it when people say that because to me, because to me, Valentine's Day is so much more.
How can you hate a day that is set aside just to celebrate love?
It doesn't have to be love for a lover or a spouse, but just LOVE in general.
I always spend Valentine's Day trying to show the people that I love most how much I love them.  It is truly my mission on Valentine's Day to have my kids go to bed feeling as though they are the most loved people in the world and to show my Big Guy how much I love him. 
I sometimes think that the world is becoming too cynical and that people are starting to get too busy to stop and celebrate the small, every day wonders and joys of life.  Why not spend a day to stop and smell the roses?  Why not show the people that you love most how much you love them?  Why not celebrate Valentine's Day?
I don't know. . . . . what are your thoughts???

Breakfast

All of my life I have heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  This past week I have discovered why.
When Otto had his old job, he used to drive Abby and her friend to school because it was on the way to his office and it is an hour long bus ride for Abby if she has to take the bus.  That would mean that she would have to get on the bus before 7 am, and Otto and I are just not ready for that yet.  When Otto got this new job it didn't become possible for him to drive her to school, so myself and the mother of the other girl decided that we would switch weeks and carpool the girls to school.
Because this means that I now have to wake up earlier to get everyone ready for school earlier and take Abby to school and the other kids to the bus, I decided that it might be a good idea to eat breakfast together and I would make them breakfast every day.  This week we have had hot breakfasts (because it is so cold outside) every day, but that won't always be the case.
I have to say that I am LOVING this family breakfast thing!  I get the chance to sit down and visit with the kiddies before we have to get ready for school.  We talk about our plans for the day and what we hope to accomplish.  I know that if we keep doing this that it will help strengthen our family relationships.  I think that this will especially be important as the girls become teenagers and we get busier and busier in the evenings.
To me, that makes breakfast the most important meal of the day!

Mars and Venus

Sometimes it is really apparent to me that men must come from Mars and women must come from Venus!  The way that we communicate is very different. . . . at least it is with Otto and I.  Let me give you an example. . .
I just got my hair done and I told Otto via text:
OTTO:  How's the hair appointment going?
ME:  It was great
ME: (Sent him a picture)
OTTO:  Awesome

Life went on that day and we chatted a couple of times.  Usually Otto comments on my hair right away and I was getting kind of nervous that I hadn't heard anything from him. . . . so I mentioned it.  As soon as I mentioned that Otto hadn't said anything about my hair, his eyes got really wide and he got really defensive telling me that he had already told me how much he liked my hair.  When I told him that he hadn't, he whipped out his cell phone and showed me the above conversation.
I LAUGHED!!!
I saw that conversation as him saying that he was glad that I liked my hair and he thought that he had completely complimented me on my hair without ever seeing it.  Even though it was just a cute, little miscommunication, it really reopened my eyes on how different the two of us are in our communicating and how I just need to remember his way and that it is so different from my own.
Sometimes it really does seem like we are on two different planets :)

Dealing with it

So, my life is still going at 100 miles an hour, but I am finally able to start dealing with things.  I have been able to help my friends who had the baby who died and that has really helped me deal with my own issues regarding Robin.  I was able to edit some photos for their baby's funeral and that was a very healing process for me.  I think that because I was finally able to confront my issues, I have been able to heal a bit more and move on.  This has made it easier for me to interact with people and to start to get my life in order.  Another thing that has helped is that Otto is working at a fantastic job now and so it takes a lot of the financial burden off of me.  I don't have to stress about money anymore and I have been able to cut back on my hours at the Store and insert some more FUN things into my life.
As some of you know, my little family has a weekly ritual of Family Fun Night and Family Home Evening.  These two things are different from each other as our Family Home Evening usually consists of a Family Meeting with some sort of teaching Incorporated into it.  We do everything from plan for emergency situations to talking about issues that our family is dealing with.  For Family Fun Night, we just go out once a week and do something fun as a family!  This week we did it last night.  We took the kiddies to this cute little restaurant called Diner Deluxe.  The kiddies all ordered Cream Soda floats for their drinks and we were able to have some FUN and modern diner food.  It is probably the only time that my kiddies will be able to eat breakfast foods for dinner while I am around because I am totally against that!  It was fun and the food was good and it made me so happy that I finally have the time to just play with my kiddies.  I have really missed being their mom over the past couple of months and it feels so good to be back!
So, I am dealing with things. . . . I am starting to find some sort of order to my chaos. . . . things aren't perfect yet, but they are coming along!