I had my Aunt Judi come over just after Lee was born to take some pictures of Lee and the kiddies. Here is the link to her website in case you would like to check out the pictures. Thanks Aunt Judi!!!!
http://julee.smugmug.com/Portraits
Well, we're still here at the hospital. I am keeping my finger crossed that we will go home by this weekend. Here's hoping!!
Yay!! It looks as though Lee has turned a corner and is getting better! He has been in the hospital since Thursday and today we are getting transferred out of the ICU. The doctors think that if his breathing rate goes down today that they can take his feeding tube out and he can breastfeed again. They also think that if he continues to get better that he will probably be able to go home either Monday or Tuesday. This makes me excited because every day he looks less and less like a robot and more and more like a baby.
Well, it looks as though this Easter isn't going to happen exactly as I planned it. I am at home right now for about 1/2 an hour to pick up some things before going back to the hospital to be with Lee. He is in the Children's Hospital at the tender age of 2 weeks. Every little inch of his body is either attached to some sort of wire or else it has a scab on it from where they drew blood for his blood work. It is painful to see an I.V. sticking out of his tiny head, and to see the marks from all of the wires and monitors. However, if this makes him better, it will be worth it! I love my little guy and we are praying that he will get better soon! I will keep you posted as things progress, but as of right now he is in the ICU and it looks as though he is going to be there for quite a while!
You know, I have decided that I may not be a "Good Mom" at the moment, but I do have one saving grace. I married well. Whatever I lack in the motherhood department, my husband more than makes sure he covers in the fatherhood department.
Otto has taken this whole week off so that he could be at home to help me out. This has been the only time that he has been able to do that, and I am so grateful. I LOVE having Otto at home. It makes me wish that he didn't ever have to go to work. I know that some wives love to have their husbands go to work because they need the space, but honestly, if I could have Otto at home all the time, I would be the happiest person in the whole world. We are very different people, and for some reason it works for us. We have always been a team, especially when it has come to our children. I don't think that I could have ever asked for a better father for my children.
I always think that it is funny that my siblings think that Otto is a saint for being able to be married to me for so long. When Otto and I first got married, it was hard on both Otto and my siblings because of our different backgrounds. Otto is the baby of his family and so he was never used to having to be an example and watch the things that he said and watch his actions. My siblings had never had so much contact with someone who grew up with such a completely different background from us. It was hard for a couple of years, but as my siblings have gotten older, and Otto and I have made sure that we have been a part of their lives, the relationship between all of them is now wonderful. It is almost as though Otto has always been part of the family and my siblings see him as another brother.
I would have to say that the biggest compliment that I have gotten about my big guy came from my father this weekend. My dad and I were talking about life and changes and he told me that I should never worry about my finances because Otto is such a hard worker and he would make sure that we would never hurt ourselves financially. He said that he knew that Otto would take up a night job if he had to so that we could make our ends meet. I just thought that that was such a compliment that my dad doesn't worry about Otto and I and that he knows that Otto will always step up and take care of his family. I have always known that, but it does feel good to know that my parents know that, as well.
The reason that I have written this post is because I just feel blessed to have my big guy. We are having our 10 year anniversary this September and so I have spent alot of this year thinking about him and our lives together. I have NEVER complained about Otto as a husband and a father. I have NOTHING to complain about in that department. It is amazing to me when I look back at everything that we have been through together and I sometimes wonder how we have gotten through it all. I still don't have the answers to that, but I do know that it has made us stronger and grow closer, and my children are very lucky to have the father that they have!
Lately, I have been wondering what the title "Good Mom" really means. What actually qualifies someone as a "Good Mom". I mean I know what qualifies someone to be a "Bad Mom" like abuse, neglect, etc, but the definition of a "Good Mom" seems to elude me.
I can tell that my kids have not thought that I have been a "Good Mom" lately. I have been getting some complaints from them in that department. Here, let me give you some examples:
Abby - she thinks that she needs to remind me that I need to feed Lee every time he cries. She feels that if she doesn't tell me that he is hungry that I won't feed him. Boy are we sure lucky she is around so much or that poor baby would starve because it would never cross my mind that I actually need to feed the baby! Thanks Abby!
Anne - on Monday Anne was feeling sick at school and decided to call home so that I could go and pick her up from school. I just had a c-section and so I am still not driving. My mom has been staying here with me. Well, one of us must have been on the phone when Anne called and she got the answering machine. Anne has never gotten the answering machine before and so she didn't know what it was. When Anne did get home, after school, she immediately came up to me and said, "You know mom when the phone rang and you answered it and said to leave a name and number? Well, that was me! I was calling to tell you to pick me up from school. You shouldn't just say to leave your name and number if you don't know who it is first!" She was LIVID that I would tell her to leave her name and number instead of talking to her. . . she didn't know it wasn't me.
Caroline - well, she just always tells me that I am mean and she doesn't like me. I am looking forward to at least 15 - 20 more years of that
Dustin - I know that he is wondering why I would dare bring another baby boy into the house when I already had one? I think that he is feeling usurped because he is continuously acting out.
I guess that the only one who actually thinks that I might be a "Good Mom" right now is Lee. He is cuddled, fed (but with reminders from Abby of course), clean, happy, and basically content. I am sure that as time goes on and as the kids adjust to having our new little brother that maybe I won't be seen as such a bad guy. Maybe they will come around and realize that they are still loved and that I would do anything for them. Because, I guess when it all comes down to it being a "Good Mom" to me means that you love and cherish your children the best way that you know how. So maybe I am still a "Good Mom" after all.
