Crossroads

It seems to me that every September, I come to a crossroad of sorts.  I always seem to have to make some big decisions on what I want my life to be like for the next little while in September.  This year is no different.  I am currently in the process of making some big decisions which will affect both myself and my family in the future.  It's hard.  It's scary, and I am just trying to get as much information as possible.
The neat thing that I have found with crossroads is that making the choice and finally setting your foot on one of the pathways is always rewarding.  I find that after I have made my decisions that I feel more secure and at peace.  It seems that I have the most unrest when I am at the crossroads rather than when I finally take the step of faith.
Once I make my decision, I will post more about it, but for now. . . .
. . . . well. . . .  .
I am still at the crossroads.

Maybe We're Wrong

I think that I have mentioned over the summer that this year I have been struggling with where I am in life, right now.  I seem to be unhappy with myself and that has been a huge struggle for me over the last year or so.  Don't get me wrong, I love my family and I love my life, but I am just not happy. . . or at least I wasn't for a long time.  I have tried to get advice from many different people as to what I should do to help me feel better about myself.  I have gotten some great advice from so many people and I appreciate all of it.  The NUMBER 1 piece of advice that I have gotten is "You are so busy that you need to take a little 'ME' time to relax and regroup."
  I think this is good advice.  I think that for the most part, everyone needs to take a little "me" time and relax and regroup.  The problem is that in my quest to always have a little "me" time I have noticed that I still haven't achieved my goal of happiness that I desire. 
And then it hit me. . .
Maybe this way of thinking is wrong. 
Maybe the answer ISN'T that I need MORE "me" time. . . . maybe I need LESS "me" time.
Let me explain.
You see, this past weekend was my Grandma Lee's 80th birthday party.  I was busy. . . . okay, beyond busy.  I spent days scanning, editing, organizing, and burning pictures onto disks for my family and then creating a slide show of my Grandma Lee's life.  It was a lot of hard work. . . but I was happy to do it.
As part of the evening's events, all of the grandchildren were to write down their favorite memory of Grandma Lee.  There was one story, in particular that struck a chord in me.  One of my cousins shared with us that while having a conversation with my Grandma Lee one day that she said to them, "I never had a mid-life crisis because I was too busy."  She was!  She was constantly busy doing things for other people.
That hit me.
(Picture a heavenly choir singing Handel's Hallelujah Chorus in your mind now)
If I want to be truly happy, I need to stop worrying about trying to make myself happy, I need to focus on making other people happy and I will seek the joy and peace that I desire.
That's it!
The lightbulb has turned on and I get it now!
I finally understand!
In a world where everything is about "me" and "my instant gratification" I was looking in the wrong place for happiness.  I was becoming so absorbed in myself that I was getting consumed about how I should be feeling when in reality the answer was to serve other people instead of myself.
So, I tried it out. . . and guess what . . . it works!!!
I have been trying it out on my family first and the results are undeniable!  It turns out that I am happiest when I am doing something for them.  When I actually stop what I am doing and actually listen to what they are saying or asking me to do. 
Otto and I went and delivered bags for donations for the food bank that we will be picking up on Saturday together on Wednesday evening after the kids were in bed, and I realized as we were walking home, hand in hand, that I had finally found what I was looking for.  I have found the peace and the joy that I have been seeking. . . . and while my family and friends' advice was good, and I do believe that we should take time out for ourselves, that maybe while we are doing that we should maybe invite someone who we know is having a hard time to come along with us. . . . or maybe we should spend that quiet minute writing a note to someone we love . . . . or making meals for someone who is sick. . . . and so on.  Maybe those minutes that I have to myself can be best used to help others and then I will find the happiness and the joy that I have been seeking. . . . maybe I was wrong in my thinking before. . . maybe it isn't all about "ME".

One Person

Picture this if you will. . . .
It is the early 1900's and you are an educated doctor married to an educated woman who is also an anesthetist.  You want to help people.  You want to make a difference.  You  want to use your skills to the best of their abilities.  You want to serve a mission in China, but it is too dangerous out there.  Instead, you are sent a request to move to a small, little town in a province called Alberta.  There are not many people there, but they need a doctor.  Without you, they will have no medical help.  You decide to make the journey to this small town to become their doctor.
This little town, called Lamont is full of poor immigrants who have left their countries with nothing in the hopes of finding a better place to raise their families.  Most don't speak English and most have nothing, but they need you.  They need a doctor.  You are their doctor.
You build a hospital.  You travel around and help people in different counties. . . whether they can pay or not. . . and then it hits. . . the Great Depression.
The people have nothing.  They cannot pay you.  You try to accept produce as payment and animals as payment.  The hospital even sets up a pig farm in the back to try and raise money.  You realize, however, that you cannot accept produce forever because there are bills to pay.  What do you do?  These people need help.  They need YOUR help.  They need a doctor.
And then it hits you.

BAM!

AN IDEA!!!

Wouldn't it be better if the community helps bear the burden of the medical costs.  What if each family pays $25 for a year and then you wouldn't have to charge the sick and the wounded for their hospital costs as their bills will already have been paid.  You could help those in need and still pay the hospital bills.  It could work!  The community can work together and help each other.

They do. 

It works.

The hospital expands and grows.  A nursing school is built in the community which becomes well known and attracts many nurses to the school and consequently to the town.  The hospital and nursing school become the largest employer for the town for generations, even in 2010.  Your small idea of community health care becomes the foundation on which Universal Health care in Canada is born.

You are one man.

You have changed the lives of an entire town for generations and the health care of a country forever.

You are remembered for your gentle spirit and kind heart and innovative ideas.

Your name is Albert Ernest Archer.

And I am proud to be your Great-Great Granddaughter.

Thank you for your legacy and for teaching me that one person can make a difference.

To Infinity . . . . and Beyond!

Lately I have been feeling down in the dumps.  I don't really know why, but I just have felt sad all of the time.  I am not one who likes to wallow in pity, and so this has really been getting to me.  As I was doing laundry I thought to myself that I should start thinking about things that I am thankful for to help me feel better. . . . but I thought better of that. . . . I just didn't want to do it.
And then it hit me. . .
LITERALLY
A light saber slashed across my shins followed by the bluest eyes and the biggest grin I have ever seen and I knew I was in heaven.
Time is so fleeting and since I am now done having children, it has become very apparent that I won't have moments like these for much longer.  So, I sat down, ate some banana bread and watched the action unfold.
There it was. . . two Jedi knights. . . . one named Buzz Lightyear and the other, Darth Vader. . . . battling it out with a light saber and a spatula for the ruling of "Infinity and Beyond". 
There was action!
There were sound effects!
There were tongs involved at one point!
And in the end 5 or 6 different super heroes were quoted as the battle raged in my family room.
Who won?
Does it matter?
The prize?
A kiss from mommy who now sat contented with life and who wished that she could capture moments like this one to infinity and beyond.

Uncle Brant

How was your long weekend?  Did you spend it with family and friends?  Did you do fun things?  We did!  My sister, Jenna got married last weekend, so we got to kick off the summer with her wedding, and followed it up the next week in the company of our extended family on my mom's side.  Otto had a scout camp that he went to (and had a blast), and we spent the week with my Aunt Christie's family doing various activities.  We also got to see one of my great friends, Cynthia, who has been up here visiting for the summer!  The perfect week right?
Well, almost.
On June 30th, my Uncle was involved in an accident while loading the boat at the cabin which almost killed him.  Our cabin is boat access only and so we store our boat at "The Marina" and the brakes on one of the boat launchers failed causing my Uncle to fall out of the boat that he was loading and onto the cement, where the launcher proceeded to run over him with it's back wheels, drag him into 2 poles which broke on impact and then run over him with it's front wheels too.
It is AMAZING that he is even alive.
He has:
3 broken vertebrae in his back
Skull fracture from the base of his neck through his face to his nose
5 broken ribs
Bruised lungs
Broken collar bone
Shattered elbow
Lots of muscle damage to one of his knees
Shattered ankle
Broken ear drum
He was leaking cerebral fluid out of his ears for a couple of days, but the doctors seem to think that will clear up.  The biggest problem is that his lungs are already weak because he had cancer 20 years ago and right now he cannot breathe on his own.  He has developed an infection in his lungs that the doctors are treating, and even though he is improving a bit, day by day, he is still in the ICU listed as being in stable but serious condition.
Immediately upon hearing about the accident, my parents, grandparents and my Aunt Christie all went out to be with him and his wife and two of his children who were with him.  My mom is still there with my Uncle and his wife and my grandparents.  She continues to give us updates on his condition.
This has been a shock to me.  I don't know how close you are to your extended relatives, but I grew up being quite close to mine.  My Uncle lives only 15 minutes away from myself and Otto and I see him and his family at least once a month.  I also am in a singing group with my aunt and so hearing about this terrible accident has been devastating.
The good news is that it has also been motivating me to be better prepared.  It has made me look through my bank accounts and make sure that both mine and Otto's names are on all accounts, registrations, credit cards, etc.  It has made me check into my insurance policies to see if I have proper coverage.  It has made me take a look at my family life and wonder if all of my affairs are in order so that if something were to happen to myself or my husband, would we be able to get through it.
I can only imagine the pain and the sorrow that my aunt is feeling right now.  I don't know what I would do if something like that happened to my Big Guy.  Being so far away from it all and knowing that I can't really help at all has been really hard for me.
So all I can do is pray. . . .
. . . and wait. . . .
. . . and hope that all will be well.

New Perspective

With things that have been happening in my life over the past little while, I have decided that I wasn't really happy with the way that certain things were going in my life.  I was tired of feeling depressed and angry.  So, I decided that I was going to change some things in my life in order to feel better. 
I am a very goal oriented person, and I find that the key to successfully completing a goal is to write it down.  I have already done some things to start taking care of how I feel about my looks.  I have a new hairstyle and color, I am getting back into running again (thanks to the okay from my doctor), and I have bought myself some new clothes (always helps!).  I have cleaned my house from top to bottom and so this is my new starting point.  So, without further adieu, my goals:
1 - GOAL:  Be nicer to people.  HOW TO ACCOMPLISH IT:  Smile when I pass people on the street and always try to keep all comments positive.
2 - GOAL:  Keep my house clean.  HOW TO ACCOMPLISH IT:  Start back with the Fly Lady program again.
3 - GOAL:  Spend more time uplifting myself.  HOW TO ACCOMPLISH IT:  Set aside time every day to read.
4 - GOAL:  Have fun with my kids this summer.  HOW TO ACCOMPLISH IT:  Schedule fun things to do as a family and with friends.
5 - GOAL:  Be nicer to my kids.  HOW TO ACCOMPLISH IT:  Make a conscious effort not to raise my voice.  Always use "Please" and "Thank you " when asking them to do something.
So, that's it.  Those are my 5 goals for the summer.  Once September hits I always reevaluate where I am and make changes to my goals.  I am excited to spend the summer with my friends and family and hopefully I will be able to accomplish my goals and feel happier and healthier!

A Safe Haven

This past weekend we had a fabulous family get together!  It was Otto's Grandma's 80th birthday and so I helped organize a mini family reunion so that we could all spend the weekend together!  It was fabulous!  The weather was gorgeous and the company was wonderful.
There was just one little glitch in the weekend.
It was called "A Safe Haven".
That was the name of the place that we stayed.  Don't get me wrong, the place was beautiful!  They own two vacation homes, a cabin and a Bed and Breakfast.  I found their website on the internet and contacted them for a quote.  It was a fabulous price and the pictures of the place looked amazing, so we decided that we would like to stay there!  They had just renovated their vacation homes and even though the outside wasn't much to look at, the inside of the homes were beautiful!  They looked amazing and we had a wonderful time at the vacation homes.
The owners of the establishment, however, were not very professional.  In fact, they treated us so poorly when we were there that I would completely discourage my friends from going there.  From the moment we got there, members of my family were treated very poorly.  One of the owners was very rude and abrupt with them.  I didn't arrive until later and found out that because of a miscommunication between the two owners, they had made incorrect assumptions and that was the source of the poor treatment.  Usually I can overlook a bit of poor customer service, but the way that we were treated was so unprofessional that it completely left a bad taste in my mouth and even though the vacation homes were beautiful, I would never recommend that people stay there because I wouldn't want them to be treated in the same manner that we were treated.  I won't go into detail, but I will have to say that if the owners learn a bit of a lesson on customer service then "A Safe Haven" would be a fabulous place to stay in the Crowsnest Pass, however, until then I would not return and stay at "A Safe Haven".
Just thought you might like to know!