Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Birthdays

Aren't birthdays a funny thing?  I have always wondered why we celebrate the day that someone is born into the world.  Is it because we are celebrating the fact that the little life that has just begun has the power to change the world?  Are we celebrating the end of an era of pregnancy that the mother endured for 9 months before the baby came into the world?  What exactly is it that we are celebrating?
Yesterday was my 31st birthday and I thought about it alot. 
I thought about what were the hopes and dreams that my parents had for me when I was born? 
Who did they want me to become? 
Who did they want me to look like? 
What personality traits did they hope that I would inherit?
What aspirations did they have for me?
I just can't help but wonder if I have lived up to everything that they have hoped for me.
Am I smart enough?
Am I creative enough?
Am I responsible enough?
Have I set a good enough example for my younger siblings?
Do I work hard enough?
Am I spiritual enough?
Am I headed in the direction in life that they would want me to go?
What have I accomplished in my life?
Is it good enough for them?
Is it good enough for me?
The last question was the hardest for me to answer.  I spent the whole day thinking about my life and where I am and where I want to be.  I am currently the mother of 5 beautiful living babies and one angel baby.  I have a house and 2 vehicles.  I do not have a University degree, but I teach piano, and digital scrapbooking.  I am aspiring to receive my Red Seal for cooking so that I can have a piece of paper to back up my passion for food and catering.  There is nothing that brings me closer to God than through music.  Music is a very powerful tool in my life and in the life of my family.  I would be lost and alone without it.  I currently serve in my church as part of a presidency over the children.  I love this!  I love being around children and helping them learn.
I love to cook.
Let me write that again. . .
I LOVE to COOK!!!!
I love to watch my Abby play basketball and learn how to see the game.
I love to wake up every morning to the deep, melodic sounds of Abby's cello as she practices and to the wavering notes on the piano as Anne and Caroline learn how to play the piano.
I LOVE the mountains!
I love warm weather.
I love my family and the one thing that I have always wanted more than anything else is to feel included in my family.
When I turned 30, I had a bit of a crisis and I decided that I would try and do things that I normally wouldn't do.  Since I turned 30 I really stuck to that goal and I have experienced some AMAZING things and learned a few lessons along the way.  I have sung in an American Idol competition in Walt Disney World, run in a 10K race, coached basketball for Abby, answered "yes" to a survey, sung in a Women's Chorus which performs for Senior Citizens, gone on a trip to Mexico with just my mom and myself, endured 4 days of torture stuck in an airport in Houston, gone horseback riding in the ocean in Jamaica, climbed a waterfall, gone tubing down a river, planned a garden, taught digital scrapbooking at home parties (I hate home parties, so this was a big step for me), and more.
My goals for being 31 are to enjoy my family more and to grow closer to my husband.  I also have some goals about my education and I will post those later, once I hear more about my registration.
So, turning 31 has made me reflect on my life.  Am I where I want to be?  I think so.  Am I who my parents want me to be?  I hope so.  Where am I going?  Well, only time will tell, and I do hope that I have a lot of time left to find out.

3 comments:

Being Ausmus said...

Beautiful. Beautifully written, beautiful girl! Happy Birthday!

Lahni said...

Happy Birthday! I guess that means I'll be 31 soon too. Yikes!
I like this post. Turning 30 made me think about my life too. I've been trying (not sure how successful I've been) to be less anal and more laid back. I'm trying to relax and be less of a control freak. Maybe I'll have to ask around to see if I've been doing better!

Jamie said...

Good post. May birthdays are for the cool peeps.