I have a secret . . .

I have a secret that few people know
I have a secret about tomorrow.
I have a secret that was sent from above
A dear little angel that I will always love.

I have a secret, you can see in my eyes,
I have a secret when I hear baby cries.
I have a secret that my husband and I share
When I look all around me, I see her everywhere.

I hold this secret in a locket on my neck
I would much rather hold her, but I'll take what I can get.
Tomorrow she would have been one year, you see
Instead she is buried under the shade of a tree.

So my little secret is here in my heart
My little girl whom I have loved from the start.
Born sleeping, and yet her spirit lives on
I'll miss her yet cherish her until I am gone

And then once more together we will be
Just two little spots in our eternal family
And all of this heartache and sadness I now feel
Will all disappear and not even seem real.

So for now with a few my secret I'll share
About my dear little Robin, my angel up there.
Although she won't get to grow up in this land
I know that one day we'll walk hand in hand.

Sorry about the poem. I sometimes write them when I am feeling a little bit emotional. Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of what SHOULD have been Robin's birthday. These anniversaries seem to make me a little bit sad and the remind me of how much I miss my sweet little angel. I think that today was really hard on me because as I headed over to my Aunt Judi and Uncle Garry's house tonight to go see my cousin and his wife who are visiting from the States, I stopped by the cemetary. I needed to just see my little Robin's plaque that was there. It was really hard on me to see that someone had removed it. I know that it was a bit broken and it wasn't all beautiful, but it was the only marker I had to show that my little girl was ever even born. I didn't think that it would affect me this much, but it was kind of sad to think that after I am gone that people won't really ever think about my little angel. She will end up being my little secret until I can afford to get her a headstone. . . maybe I will be able to get her one at Christmas. We'll see. If you happen to go and visit my Nana's grave; if you could just quickly remember that my little Robin's body rests under her headstone (even if it is just a fleeting thought), I would love that. I miss my little girl so much sometimes, and I can't wait until I can see her again.
(Sorry about the emotional post. Thanks for reading it. You are good friends for reading the whole thing . . . especially the poem!)