Not the Momma!!

Recently I have been having this little problem with Abby. . . . okay you caught me. . . it has been going on for years now. . . . and now that I think about it I have almost the same problem with Anne. The problem is this: the girls seem to think that they need to tell me how to be a mother. I don't know if they think that I am a bad mother or if they think that they are being helpful or what, but it drives me crazy!!!! I get constantly lectured on how to feed the baby, dress him, take care of the girls, do their hair, cook, clean and timing.
Now, before you think the worst of me let me reassure that I DO know how to properly feed and dress the baby; my girls ARE properly cared for and they have cute hair; and believe it or not I cook and clean every day AND I am RARELY late for anything. I apparently just don't do things the way that THEY think that I should. Okay, so let's be honest, what do you think that my life would be like if I ran our household the way that THEY think that it should be run???? I can just see it now:

6:30 - wake up and watch tv
6:35 - eat breakfast on the commercials (ice cream totally counts as breakfast)
7:30 - get dressed because your favorite show is now over
7:45 - go to the bathroom because you have already been about to explode for about an hour and there is just NO WAY that you can hold it anymore
8:00 - make the kids lunches that are consisted of only candy and pop. . . . okay maybe I can throw in the occasional lunchable (is that even really a lunch???)
8:01 - yep completely finished making lunch because, of course, when I go shopping the only things I buy are candy, ice cream and pop so the selection of lunches is enormous!!!
8:05 - let them walk the KILOMETER to their bus stop and never know whether or not they actually make it
8:15 - 12 pm - cook all sorts of cookies and treats and clean the house, but especially their room for them and put away all of their laundry
12:05 - call their school and check up on them to see how their day is going and if there is anything that I can get for them. . . .or better yet. . . be at the school every day to volunteer!
4:10 pm - let them walk home the KILOMETER from the bus stop because they are too cool for me to pick them up (ok, I have relented on this one because Abby has shown me that they ARE capable of making it home safe and sound)
4:15 - ice cream and candies for snacks . . . upstairs in the bonus room of course so that they can watch their favorite tv shows while enjoying their snacks (all the while reassuring Anne that candy is indeed healthy for you and that it is okay to eat it all of the time)
4:45 - let the play with their friends until 11 pm and serve the entire neighborhood dinner
11 pm - more ice cream, cookies and treats before bed
12 am - bed time, but only if they feel like it

You know, if I can swing it I want to actually try and run the house the way that they would have me do it for a week. I have a sneaking suspicion that they would think that they were in HEAVEN the first few days, but that after a couple of days of candies, and late nights that we would probably end up back to our normal routine. . . . at least I am HOPING that that would be the case!!! But until I muster up the courage to actually try that I will just have to stick to my good old trusty saying of "Abby, you're NOT THE MOMMA!!" and when she IS the momma she can do whatever she wants.