3 weeks

Okay, now we are just 3 weeks and 2 days away from having baby Lee. (Again, that is assuming that nothing goes wrong and we have to have him early.) As I have been getting ready for him to come, I have realized that there are ALOT of things that you need for a baby. I always forget about all of the little things that you have to get when getting ready for the little one. Every time I think that I am done getting things, I figure out 5 more things that I am missing! I almost feel like I am having my first baby again and that I won't know what to do. One of the down sides to having a C-section is that I will have to be in the hospital for 3 days. I HATE the hospital!!! I get sooooo bored!!! This year the hospital has adopted a new policy which states that only the husband, siblings of the baby and grandparents can come and visit in the hospital. That means that MY siblings and friends and cousins can't come. What am I going to do there for 3 days with no one to talk to???? Poor Otto will probably have to sit with me for a long time to keep me from going crazy!! I understand why the hospital has that policy, however I would hope that they would make an exception for people who have to stay longer!
I can tell that I am at the end of my pregnancy because I am starting to nest! I am in the process of organizing and sorting and giving away all of our toys. I HAVE to do this because I feel so unprepared for this baby to come! I HATE feeling unprepared, so I usually go overboard with my preparations and get over prepared (I think that I know someone like this. . . . . Grandma????). My husband isn't complaining. . . I think that he is used to this by now. But my kids hate that I am always making them carry things around the house and pick things up off of the floor. Right now my house doesn't seem very organized, but it is getting there. The problem is that I will get it all organized and clean and then I will have this baby and other people will be staying here who won't do things the way that I do them and then I will have to redo everything after they leave. I guess that's the price I have to pay for having people who love me being willing to help me out!
I'm not really complaining. I am just nervous. I don't know how I am going to react when Lee is finally born. I am extremely excited. (I mean you would be too if you had been pregnant for basically a year and 4 months.) I am very nervous. I am scared. The fact that I am missing a baby is really hitting home to me right now. I really wish that I could have had all of this excitement when Robin was born, but it was a totally different experience with her. I am worried that something will go wrong and something bad will happen to Lee. I am scared to have my tubes tied and make everything final, but at the same time, relieved! I feel so much joy that my family will finally be complete. I feel love for this little one who moves around and kicks me all of the time. I am just a complete mixture of emotions. I guess that that's just part of being a mom because I have learned, from experience, that the mixture of emotions never quite goes away!