Feelings

I have a friend from church who has been having problems getting pregnant. She and her husband just tried In Vetro Fertilization in January. We have been talking alot about what she has had to go through just to get pregnant, but she was able to get pregnant and it has been so much fun talking to her about everything. Not being able to get pregnant is not something that I have ever had to worry about. Otto and I have been VERY blessed in that area. Once we decide to get pregnant, it pretty much happens the next day. I was soooo excited for my friend when I heard that she was actually pregnant. She is 38 years old and her husband is 45, so it's not as though they are young and foolish. They have been married for 2 years and basically trying to have a baby the whole time.

On Tuesday evening, I got an email from her saying that she had received news that her baby's heart wasn't beating anymore and so the doctors are waiting for her to have a miscarriage. My heart broke for her. I was devastated that she is now going to have to go through the whole experience of having a miscarriage. It is strange, all of the emotions that hearing her news has brought up for me. I almost feel as though I have lost my Robin all over again. It hasn't been a year yet, and I didn't realize how raw I still am. As soon as I found out about my friend, I told her that I had the perfect book for her. When I had Robin, my mom brought me this book called "Gone Too Soon" and it is taken from talks of the general authorities of our church. This book is completely devoted to saying what the church's position is on miscarried and stillborn babies. It is so wonderful and it gave me alot of comfort and peace when I first had Robin. I took that book over to her last night, along with some tulips. I know that there is really nothing that I can say to my friend at this time that will help her feel better. The truth is that it just plain sucks. It is really painful emotionally to have your baby die whether it was 4 weeks along or 40, it doesn't matter. Once you find out you are pregnant, you are that baby's mommy and you love it, even though it causes you to feel sick all the time and tired all the time and it takes over your body and you get fat, you love that little baby and having it die is the worst feeling in the whole world.

My friend and her husband hadn't really told anyone that they were pregnant because the doctor advised against it until she was after 12 weeks because her chances of miscarrying were higher than normal. I understand why doctors tell patients that, however, one of the biggest things that has always helped me deal with losing Robin is the love and support that I have been able to feel through my family and friends. I know quite a few women who have miscarried and most of them have told me that they wished that they had told someone because it is a painful thing to go through by yourself.

Having a miscarriage or stillborn baby changes you. I feel as though I am a deeper person because of having Robin. I have a greater appreciation for the miracle of birth. I am scared to death every day that something is going to happen to Lee before he is born in 2 weeks. I have a greater appreciation for my faith in my church and the peace and comfort that it gives me. I now understand the pain of losing a child and my heart constantly breaks for the women who have to experience it. I LOVE butterflies. They are the symbol of miscarried and stillborn babies and whenever I see a butterfly or a robin they remind me of my little angel who is waiting for me up in heaven. I know that my friend will get through this trial. She is alot stronger than she thinks she is and I sincerely hope that one day she will be able to have a child, whether through IVF or through adoption and I know that she will never take that child for granted and that it will be her entire life. I just wish that she didn't have to go through this trial to get her own baby. And I do hope that I can hold on for the next two weeks until Lee is born and that everything can go well with his birth.

The Little Things I Love. . .

Yesterday, I was looking at my friend's pictures on facebook, and she had created an album called "The Things I Love" and had pictures posted of different things ranging from her shoes to her 1970's vintage kitchen table. I thought it was a neat album because how often do we take the time as adults to sit down and actually think about all of the little things in life that we love? It really got me thinking about the different things that I love. So, I thought that I would list some of those things. I am sure that I will miss some items, but I will try to get most of them on here.
- I love the sound of children singing
- I love the silence of night
- I love the smell of newborn babies
- I love the fuzziness of newborn babies
- I love to watch the sun glisten off of the water
- I love puzzles
- I love large flowers like poppies, lillies, irises etc.
- I love fine quality chocolate
- I love puppies
- I love to feel prepared
- I love nativities
- I love to feel as though I am part of a family
- I love to feel useful
- I love to cook
- I love my spring piano recitals because I get to see how much my students have progressed
- I love my jetted bathtub
- I love to take my family on trips
- I love Otto's dimples
- I love my memory foam mattress
- I love my roomba
- I love beautiful photos of my children
- I love to read
- I love that my siblings are finally getting married and starting to be able to relate to me better
- I love confident people
- I love attending events that are well organized
- I love being by myself
- I love funky clocks
- I love clothes that fit well
- I love to try ethnic foods
- I love small restaurants
- I love momentos
- I love gardens
- I love my beautiful cat
- I love summer
- I love watching the sunset while eating dinner
- I love the mountains
- I love having lots of cousins my age
- I love Anne's beautiful complexion
- I love Abby's beautiful dimples and her height
- I love Caroline's cheekiness
- I love Dustin's beautiful eyes
- I love to swim
- I love to be praised
- I love pastries that melt in your mouth
- I love the smell and feel of my children when they have just gotten out of the bathtub
- I love butterflies
- I love flower gardens
- I love that the sun sets in Calgary at 11 pm in the summer

I know that there are alot more important things that I could write about. There are alot more things that I love, but it has been fun to write about the little things!

The Ponch

As we are getting closer to having little Lee, things are getting pretty exciting around here. We spent Saturday cleaning and organizing our upstairs because when we bring Lee home, I won't be able to do stairs very well, so people will have to come upstairs to see us. Abby helped me get out and organize the baby basket. We had so much fun arranging all of the little washcloths, towels, medicines, binkies and misc other baby stuff in it and making it look cute for when Lee comes. For some reason, I do this with each of my babies. I find it easier to have all of the infant stuff really accessible in my room so that I don't have to go very far to get anything.
On Sunday, we went over to my Uncle Brant and Aunt Marilyn's house for dinner. We actually went over there to meet Kelsey, who is my cousin Chris' fiancee. She was really sweet and we are so excited for her and Chris. However, my cousin Alex is really into photography, and earlier in the year he had asked me if he could take some pictures of me when I am pregnant because he didn't have any maternity photos for his portfolio. I told him that when I got bigger we could arrange something. Well, with Lee's C-Section date being 2 1/2 weeks away, I figured that I wasn't going to be getting much bigger than I already am. Since we were going over there anyways, I made my family look cute and we went and took some pictures of us with the ponch.
I had never taken maternity pictures before, and of course it was a little bit hectic getting everyone to do what we wanted them to do, but I am actually quite excited that we did it.
Being pregnant with Lee doesn't actually seem real. I still don't quite believe that in a couple of weeks, I will actually be having a baby. And not only that, but I will be having my last baby. One of the reasons that I liked doing that photo shoot was because I won't be able to be pregnant again and so I wanted to remember being pregnant with my little one. I hope that we were able to capture some of the excitement that all of the girlies and Otto and I feel as we look forward to meeting our little one. Every time I feel a little kick in the ribs or a punch in the belly, the most wonderful feeling of love comes over me for this little guy.
I know that he is supposed to be a member of our family. I know that our family is now complete. We all miss our other little baby sometimes, but we know that we will see her again someday. It is so wonderful for me to see my children get so excited when they see the ponch start to move, or when they get to feel a kick. They tell all of their friends and teachers about it and it makes me so excited that they are also looking forward to having our little brother. I just hope that they will be just as excited once he comes out!

I have to brush my teeth!

For those of you who have had kids, I have one question for you. Have you ever sat down and actually listened to the words that are coming out of their mouths? I realized that I sometimes tune the kids out when I know what they are going to say. For instance, if I ask the kids where something is, I am almost guarenteed to get an "I don't know. . . so and so had it last." Or if I ask them if their homework is done I get the "*sigh* Yes mom, we did it earlier!". My personal favorite is when I ask them if their rooms are clean and their beds are made. I love the answer "But you never told me I had to do it!!!" Ummmm if they looked at our house rules, it is rule number 2! Generally speaking, these answers are written in stone. They have to be given when asked the appropriate questions. However, then Caroline was born. My brother Jason loves Caroline because she is so cheeky. Most of the time it is hard to understand what she is trying to say, but when you do, you end up rolling on the floor laughing because she is soooo funny. Here is the situation that prompted this entry:
Yesterday we were tidying the house to get ready for our babysitter to come over so that Otto and I could go to a ward activity. Caroline was supposed to be cleaning her room. She had informed us that she just had too many toys and so she couldn't do it by herself. Now Caroline has a soft spot in Otto's heart, and so he told her that he would help her clean her room. Caroline seemed to think that this would be an okay idea, until she realized that she didn't actually want to clean her room and now she had no excuse. So she disappeared. Otto started calling her name. Here is the conversation that followed:
OTTO: Caroline?
CAROLINE: *silence*
OTTO: Caroline?
CAROLINE: *silence*
OTTO: Caroline?????
CAROLINE: *sigh* Yes??
OTTO: Where are you?
CAROLINE: In the bathroom.
OTTO: You need to come in here and help me clean your room.
CAROLINE: But I need to brush my teeth.
OTTO: Ok

So I am listening to this conversation and I hear Caroline tell Otto that she is occupied because she is brushing her teeth! After I stop rolling on the floor laughing because Otto let her get away with that excuse, I confronted Otto about it. When I told him that I couldn't believe that he let her get away with the excuse that she was brushing her teeth he told me that he hadn't really understood what she had said.
I have decided that from now on, when I don't want to do something I am going to use Caroline's excuse. . . . so if I ever tell you that I am brushing my teeth, it really means that I am trying to get out of doing whatever it is that you are asking me to do!

Survey

I couldn't think of anything interesting to say, so I copied this survey from my cousin's blog. So for those who are interested. . . here it goes!!!

1. What time did you get up this morning?
Well I got up at 5:30, 6, 7:45 and then finally at 8:15 (mostly because of potty breaks and kids)
2. Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds . . . aren't they a girl's best friend???
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
hmmmm. . . . it was for a girls night out. . . . with Annette. . . . just after Christmas. . . oh now I remember. . . it was the second National Treasure movie. . . .LOVED IT!!
4. What is your favorite TV show?
Well, I do have quite a few!! I only watch tv at night while I am working on the computer, so there is Prison Break and Medium on Mondays, House on Tuesdays, Iron Chef, Criminal Minds and Law and Order on Wednesdays, Survivor, Grey's Anatomy, the Office and CSI on Thursdays, Without a Trace and Friday Night Lights on Fridays, a movie of some sort on Saturdays, AMV, Desperate Housewives and Extreme Makeover Home Edition on Sundays. Yes, I know I watch alot of tv, but it is my only sanity time!!!
5. What do you usually have for breakfast?
A toasted english muffin with real butter and heaps of peanut butter with a tall glass of ice!
6. What is your middle name?
Carol
7. What food do you dislike?
Potato Casserole, and Jell-O
8. What is your favorite CD at moment?
The 2007 Grammy Nominees (not 2008)
9. What kind of car do you drive?
A 2000 Ford Windstar
10. Favorite sandwich?
A Megan sandwich. . . . its a huge loaf of french bread topped with different deli meats and cheeses and loaded with veggies and some sort of sauce
11. What characteristic do you despise?
Disrespectfulness, tardiness and close mindedness
12. Favorite item of clothing?
Actually right now I HATE clothing because nothing fits because I am sooo huge!!
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Anywhere warm with my husband. . . .and maybe kids
14. Favorite brand of clothing?
Wait. . . .clothing has brands???
15. Where would you retire to?
Anywhere that I could have a pool and great access to my grandbabies
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday?
My 7th birthday. . . .it was Megan's May Marathon. . . .totally cool!!!
17. Favorite sport to watch?
Basketball
18. Furthest place you are sending this?
I am not sending this, so read on fellow blog readers!
19. Person you expect to send it back first?
Not really sending it.
Wonder what happened to 20?
I figure someone just forgot to type in the number
21. When is your birthday?
May 3
22. Are you a morning person or a night person?
100% night person!!!
23. What is your shoe size?
8
24. Pets?
Well, if kids don't count, I have a dog (Zeke) and a cat (Kiera)
25. One thing someone does not know about you?
I am sure that there are many things that lots of people don't know about me, but if you must know. . . . I hate socks.
26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A mom and a piano teacher
27. How are you today?
Feeling a bit large
28. What is your favorite candy?
Bernard Callabaut. . . and Kit Kats
29. What is your favorite flower?
Any flower except carnations. . . .flowers remind me of my Nana
30. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
March 13th. . . . Lee will be born!!!
32. What is your full name?
It has changed over the years, so there is no need to write it down
33. What are you listening to right now?
Silence. . . .beautiful silence
34. What was the last thing you ate?
breakfast. . . see above
35. Do you wish on stars?
I find it more realistic to just set goals, but I teach my children how to wish on stars
36. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Brown. . . good old dependable brown
37. How is the weather right now?
Beautiful. . . warm, sunny and the snow is just about all melted!
38. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My hubby!
39. Favorite soft drink?
Pepsi
40. Favorite restaurant?
I love really good sushi, and fine dining
41. Hair color?
Right now? Um brown with blonde streaks, but ask me in a week or two as it will probably change
42. What was your favorite toy as a child?
She-Ra and my tape recorder!
43. Summer or winter?
SUMMER!!!!!
44. Hugs or kisses?
I will take either!!
45. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Chocolate in general, vanilla in ice cream and milkshakes. (I agree with Michelle on this one!!)
46. Coffee or tea?
I am a herbal tea girl
47. Do you want your friends to email you back?
Like, in general? Usually.
49. What is under your bed?
I am too scared to look
50. What did you do last night?
Watched Iron Chef and worked on the computer
51. What are you afraid of?
Something happening to my kids
52. SALTY OR SWEET?
SALTY
53. How many keys on your key ring?
Way too many
54. How many years at your current job?
Ummm. . . .being a housewife??? I would have to say that I am going on year number 8
55. Favorite day of the week?
Saturday. . . because the whole family is home!
56. How many towns have you lived in and list them?
Edmonton, Calgary, Provo, Dallas, DeSoto and back to Calgary
57. Do you make friends easily?
Not really, I am kind of shy
58. How many people will you send this to?
None. Although feel free to copy this if you want a blog entry.
59. How many will respond? See above.

3 weeks

Okay, now we are just 3 weeks and 2 days away from having baby Lee. (Again, that is assuming that nothing goes wrong and we have to have him early.) As I have been getting ready for him to come, I have realized that there are ALOT of things that you need for a baby. I always forget about all of the little things that you have to get when getting ready for the little one. Every time I think that I am done getting things, I figure out 5 more things that I am missing! I almost feel like I am having my first baby again and that I won't know what to do. One of the down sides to having a C-section is that I will have to be in the hospital for 3 days. I HATE the hospital!!! I get sooooo bored!!! This year the hospital has adopted a new policy which states that only the husband, siblings of the baby and grandparents can come and visit in the hospital. That means that MY siblings and friends and cousins can't come. What am I going to do there for 3 days with no one to talk to???? Poor Otto will probably have to sit with me for a long time to keep me from going crazy!! I understand why the hospital has that policy, however I would hope that they would make an exception for people who have to stay longer!
I can tell that I am at the end of my pregnancy because I am starting to nest! I am in the process of organizing and sorting and giving away all of our toys. I HAVE to do this because I feel so unprepared for this baby to come! I HATE feeling unprepared, so I usually go overboard with my preparations and get over prepared (I think that I know someone like this. . . . . Grandma????). My husband isn't complaining. . . I think that he is used to this by now. But my kids hate that I am always making them carry things around the house and pick things up off of the floor. Right now my house doesn't seem very organized, but it is getting there. The problem is that I will get it all organized and clean and then I will have this baby and other people will be staying here who won't do things the way that I do them and then I will have to redo everything after they leave. I guess that's the price I have to pay for having people who love me being willing to help me out!
I'm not really complaining. I am just nervous. I don't know how I am going to react when Lee is finally born. I am extremely excited. (I mean you would be too if you had been pregnant for basically a year and 4 months.) I am very nervous. I am scared. The fact that I am missing a baby is really hitting home to me right now. I really wish that I could have had all of this excitement when Robin was born, but it was a totally different experience with her. I am worried that something will go wrong and something bad will happen to Lee. I am scared to have my tubes tied and make everything final, but at the same time, relieved! I feel so much joy that my family will finally be complete. I feel love for this little one who moves around and kicks me all of the time. I am just a complete mixture of emotions. I guess that that's just part of being a mom because I have learned, from experience, that the mixture of emotions never quite goes away!

Dustin

Well, we did it!! I can't believe it! I was gearing up for the long haul with the whole potty training thing. Dustin was TERRIFIED to use the toilet, but one of the special things about my son is that he does NOT like to be dirty. I think that this character trait of his, combined with the fact that the kid ADORES his mama were the key to our success. It took about 4 days to get him to actually not be scared to do everything on the potty, but once he figured out that 1-he wouldn't have to sit in it after he went and 2 - he got candy and trains if he went, he seemed to be okay with it. Dustin can even hold it through the night. . . . he has a bladder of steel! I am so excited that this was successful! This will be the first time that I will have a new baby and not have to buy diapers for 2 children! I am sooooo looking forward to it!
Dustin and his mommy are both a bit accident prone. On Monday, when I was making dinner, I was making the yummy enchiladas that my mom used to make for us. I was frying the corn tortillas in oil to soften them up and I was using tongs to pick them up with. Well, when I picked one of the tortillas up, boiling oil slid down the tongs and gave me second degree burns all down my pinky finger! It HURT so much! Even though I now have a blister the entire width and length of my pinky, it could have been alot worse, so I am really thankful that everything turned out okay.
Dustin's little accident happened this morning! He was running around on the main floor (which is all hardwood) and he slipped and fell and split open his chin. It just so happened that I have all of my children home today so it was fun times taking everyone with me to the doctor and getting crazy looks from the other people in the waiting room as I walked into the office, 9 months pregnant, carting around my 4 kids. Luckily we were able to get in right away and Dustin didn't need stitches. He was so good and laid there very still while the doctor cleaned out his wound and put steri strips on it. Dustin didn't even flinch or cry. I just held his head and I told him that the doctor was fixing his owie and that seemed to be good enough for him. I was so proud of Dustin for being so good, and I was soooo relieved that I didn't have to take him to the hospital for stitches.
All in all, it has been an interesting, but good week. Even though we had a couple of accidents and we were going through the rigors of potty training, I would call this week a success. I know that Dustin would too because he has gotten to spend so much one on one time with me because I haven't gone anywhere because I wanted to get this kid potty trained. I am going a little stir crazy, but Otto and I are going out for a nice dinner tonight, so that should cure me of that!

Valentine's Day

I know that alot of people don't like Valentine's Day. They think that it is a commercial holiday (which it probably is) and that it is cheesy and some even think that it is depressing. To me, Valentine's Day is more than a "romantic" day. It is a day where I think about all of the people that I love and who are important to me, and I go out of my way to show them how much I love them.

My mother was always very good at holidays and at making them special for us. On Valentine's Day she would give us all a little box of chocolates and a Valentine's card that told us that she loved us. I still have some of those cards, and I love them. Because of this, now I try and continue that tradition on with my own kids. So this morning, when the kiddies got up, there was a box of chocolates for each of them, a Valentine's Day card from their Mommy, a new Valentine's T-Shirt and a special princess chapstick for the girlies. Dustin got chocolates, a card, and a kissing monkey! Tonight, after dinner, we are going to have a special chocolate fondue (which is my kids' FAVORITE dessert!!) and basically we are spending the day together. Otto has to work, but the kids have the day off of school, so it is nice to actually have them home on this holiday.

Last night, at Activity Days, I asked some of my girls if their families did anything for Valentine's Day. Most of them said, "no". That made me feel a bit sad for them because as a mother, I look for as many different ways to teach my children about love as I can. I try and find ways to show them how much I love them, and try and find ways for them to show others how much they love each other. What better way than to take a day set aside for LOVE and make it as fun and as special as possible. Am I taking the holiday a bit too far. . . . maybe. . . . but I have never found a person who didn't like to be made to feel special every once in awhile. . . . and to me, that is what it's all about!

Interesting

Last night and Monday night, I watched a documentary that PBS did called "The Mormons". It was interesting. I think that the creators of the documentary tried to be as unbiased as they could and there were some great things on there, and there were some things that I didn't agree with. I probably wouldn't watch it again, but I am glad that I did watch it the first time. There were some things said about Joseph Smith that I didn't like hearing. It made me sit back and reflect on my own testimony of Joseph Smith. I am so glad that my family did the church history tour a couple of years ago because the feelings that I experienced there when I learned about Joseph's life and the life of the early saints has stayed with me. As I was listening to what these people were saying about Joseph, the thought kept on coming to me that all these people need to do is go to Navoo and just feel the spirit that is there. It is an incredible experience and it is one that I will never forget. There were lots of times, during the program, when I felt the spirit leave, and it made me realize that I had a choice to make. I could either choose to look further into some of the allegations that people were making against the church, or I could choose to be unwavering in my testimony and continue to feel the peace and the love that the Spirit brings into my home. I may not know everything to do with the gospel and its history, but I don't need to. For me there are 3 basic truths that keep my faith in my religion strong. They are:
1 - Jesus Christ is the Son of God and he suffered the atonement so that I could return to live with my Heavenly Father again.
2 - Joseph Smith was a prophet and did restore the gospel again to the earth
3 - The Book of Mormon is true.

I have had many powerful witnesses and experiences in my life that have caused me to learn these things. Because of these experiences I cannot deny what I know to be true. I think that I would be a much sadder person if I didn't have the beliefs and convictions that I do. I wouldn't have the knowledge that I will get to be with my sweet baby again one day. I wouldn't have the knowledge that my family will be together forever. I wouldn't have the knowledge that there is something after death. . . .we don't just cease to exist. I know who I am. I know where I came from, and I know where I want to be when I die. Can a religion that gives me all of those answers be so bad???? I don't think so!

Favorite Places

Growing up, I was very fortunate to be able to go to certain places that became special to me. I got to go visit my great grandparents on their farm in Glenwood. I got to go to the cabin every summer. After Otto and I got married, my parents bought a condo in Fernie which was so fun for us to go and visit! Each of these places were so special to me because of the memories that I was able to have there.
Farm:
- I remember hanging out with my great-grandmother and shelling peas
- I remember racing easter eggs down the roof of the chicken coop
- I remember going on truck rides with my great-grandpa
- I remember eating melted cheese and buns for breakfast
- I remember when both my great grandmother and great grandfather died
- I had my honeymoon at the farm

Cabin:
- SO MANY MEMORIES!!!
- learning how to waterski
- being bribed to cross the wake behind the boat
- many a tube ride (I am old school)
- going cliff jumping
- the toilets not working so we had to often hike up to the outhouse
- spending the days suntanning and catching minnows
- many a card game
- abby wakeboarding this past year
- abby cliff jumping this past year
- so many friends and family members coming out and visiting!

Fernie:
- going out there with our friends
- celebrating Canada Day out there
- swimming at the aquatic center
- having a little family reunion out there
- going shopping in downtown Fernie
- eating at the Old Elevator
- hiking
- playing in the river with the kiddies

Unfortunately, for me and my family, I do not actually own any of these places that are special to me. So I am at the mercy of others in order to go there. It seems as though this year, for some reason, everything is changing. My father just sold the condo at Fernie, my grandparents are selling the farm, and things are drastically going to change at the cabin. I do not handle change very well, and I feel as though all of my special places are disappearing. I wish that I had the money to buy at least a part of one of these special places, but with our new house that we got, it is just not in the finances. The problem is that I feel as though my children are not going to be able to have special places like I did. I wish that I had someplace that my kids could go to that I knew wouldn't be taken away eventually. It is so wonderful to be able to have these memories, and I hope that eventually I will be able to find a place of our own where the kiddies can have that type of place without the threat of it being taken away.

Terrified!

I just can't believe how terrified Dustin is to do his business in the toilet!! We spent the ENTIRE day, yesterday, in front of the tv, on the toilet. I FILLED that kid full of liquids and he held onto his pee for 5 hours because I wouldn't let him get off of the toilet until he had done his business. I am sure that he got quite uncomfortable, but unfortunately for him, the kid's mother is stubborn! Well, he FINALLY went and FILLED the potty! We both got so excited and jumped up and down and ate chocolate bars. Then I let him run around for a couple of hours and then we sat down again and he kept on holding it!

Today he has peed in his pants like 5 times because we have spent the day driving kids places and cleaning the house. I just can't believe how terrified he is to pee in the toilet. I would think that he would like it because the kid hates to be dirty. Apparently he also hates change. . . . Otto says he has no idea where it comes from (he says it with a big grin and while he is staring at me, but I have no idea what he is talking about!). It may take a year like it did with Anne, but I am DETERMINED to not have to buy diapers for two babies if I can help it. I have done that before and it SUCKS!!!!

Battle of Wits

Okay, I have now decided to bite the bullet and see if I can potty train Dustin before Lee is born. The thing that I have learned from attempting this with my girls is that what it basically comes down to is who is more stubborn. . . . mom or child? Abby was a dream to potty train. She wanted to be all growned up so I simply put underwear on her and never had a problem. Even at nighttime. Anne . . . she was STUBBORN!!! It took us almost a full year to break her. . . . ooops I mean potty train her. Caroline was also stubborn and still has the occasional accident. But Dustin. . . . oh Dustin! The kid is actually TERRIFIED of the toilet! I have tried everything I could think of in the past.

- I bought him a Diego padded seat to put on the toilet

- I bribed him with toys

- We bought out Walmart of all of their Bob the Builder, Spiderman and Thomas the Tank Engine underwear (which Dustin calls panties by the way)

- I have tried candy rewards

- Dustin, Otto and Uncle Jason had a peeing party one day

- We tried standing up

- We tried sitting down

- We tried standing up and putting cheerios in the toilet for him to try and hit

This time, it is GOING to work! It HAS TO!!! The kid is almost 3!! We went out this morning to Walmart and bought this little toilet that sings when you pee in it! My kids respond well to music, so I figured it was worth a try. We also bought a whole bunch of Thomas the Tank Engine trains so that when he poops he gets a new train. (Kind of puts a whole new meaning on the phrase Toilet Training doesn't it???) I also bought all of his favorite candies and put them in a special candy jar so that when he pees he gets a candy. However, I bought a TON of candy so that he can see that every time his sisters pee that they get a candy. (I have to see if maybe sibling rivalry will work. . . that's how desperate I am). Dustin even got new Thomas the Tank sippy cups so that he can carry them around all day and drink from them. THIS HAS TO WORK. If it doesn't, I don't know what I will do!

I need imput ladies and gentlemen!!! Any ideas???? Anyone??? Anyone???

Mark Your Calendars!!

Okay!! It's official! Unless something goes terribly wrong and he has to be born early, Lee's birthday will be March 13th 2008. I got the C-Section scheduled today! I am so excited because now I can plan everything! I also was able to tell my mom so that I could make sure that someone from my family was in town to help me out for a couple of days while I am in the hospital! Lee was obviously meant to be a part of our family because his birthday falls within the pattern that my children have established. Basically Abby is the 19th, Anne is the 17th, Caroline is the 15th, Dustin is the 14th and Lee will be the 13th. It makes it a little confusing to remember birthdays, but it is also pretty cool! Robin was the bonus child who was born on the 15th, so she still fits in, as well.
I can't believe that in just over 5 weeks we will have our little guy with us! I guess that I had better start getting everything out. . . . hmmmm. . . .I wonder where it all is. . . . I guess that I will just have to go hunting! I haven't touched any of that stuff since we moved so it could be anywhere! The good news is that, knowing me, everything is labeled and in it's own box, so it shouldn't take too long! Here's hoping!

FHE

Okay, so it's Monday. I am still feeling dizzy, but it does appear that things are getting slightly better every day. The kids didn't have school today so I didn't have to worry about driving, but starting tomorrow I will have to be driving again, which does make me a little bit nervous!
Last week Abby and I were having a hot tub in my bathtub and we were reading the Friend. She found a cute activity that she really wanted to do and so I asked her if she wanted to be in charge of Family Home Evening this week. She was very excited and told me "yes"!! So all week she has been getting an activity ready for us to do for Family Home Evening tonight. It is so cute to watch her as she makes sure that everything is perfect. She spent yesterday evening coloring all of her pictures that she is going to use for FHE tonight, and she has prepared a little lesson and activity.
I know that this is a small thing in her life, but for some reason it is one of my proudest moments. My little girl is so excited to teach us about Joseph Smith and the scriptures. That just makes my heart so full of joy. When I had my pat. blessing when I was 16, I was blessed that I would have joy as I watched my children grow. As sad as I am that they are growing up toooooooo fast, I have found that they truly do bring me so much joy.
As I spent those three days in the hospital last week, I got to listen to several women go through labour and several women get ready for C-Sections. It reminded me that in about 6 weeks we are going to get to finally meet our little Lee. As BORING and unfun as my hospital stay was, the one thing that I did get out of it was that I am now SO excited to have little Lee. I can't wait until he joins our family and our family is complete. I can't wait to hold him and to be able to look at him. I miss my little Robin terribly, and I did shed a couple of tears when they hooked me up to the baby monitor to monitor Lee's heartbeat because as excited as I was to see and hear the little heartbeat, that was not something I got to experience with my little girl. However, I can't wait to see her again too!
I know that life is full of ups and downs and that we must experience the downs in order to fully appreciate the ups. Right now, I am so looking forward to watching my little Abby teach her first lesson in FHE and watch her little testimony grow! It is probably not a big deal to anyone else, but for me, tonight is going to be a special night!

Circus Show

I have been getting a lot of phone calls because I hadn't updated my blog. The reason I hadn't updated it was because I spent all of Wednesday, Thursday and most of today in the hospital. I just got home. I am still quite dizzy, but at least I am home and I know that it is nothing serious. It seems to be only a virus that has affected my inner ear so I am constantly dizzy and I can't focus on anything. I also get really nausiaos because everything seems to be in constant movement. The reason they kept me so long is because they had thought that I might have had a stroke, so I had neurologists come and test me (turns out I can't touch my finger to my nose with my left hand) and I failed! I then had to wait all day yesterday for an MRI. Because I am so dizzy, reading is really hard for me to do, and writing is also! I have had to basically retype almost every sentence on here because the letters are not forming the way that I want them to.
Anyways, I didn't have a stroke. Lee is doing great! I am still dizzy, but at home. I am an idiot who can't touch their finger to their nose. . . which has turned into quite a show for my husband. He like for me to perform my trick in front of people. I feel like a part of a circus show. . . . COME ONE! COME ALL! COME SEE MEGAN WHO CAN'T TOUCH HER FINGER TO HER NOSE!!! GREAT DISCOUNTS FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!