Perception

So I was talking to Otto last night about my last post. I asked him if there was anything on there that he didn't know about me. He said that there wasn't. I was a bit surprised because I tried to put some things on there that I haven't really told anyone. So, I went through the list with him and I kept on asking him, "Did you know this? and what about this?" He kept on telling me that he knew that that was the way that I saw myself. For instance with the hoarder tidbit and with the uncoordinated tidbit and the fact that my children can draw better than I can. I didn't think that he would know those things, but he told me that even though he doesn't think that, that he knows that I do think those things about myself.
Okay, so that made me stop and reflect. . . .how do other people see me? And is it so very different from how I see myself? I took one of those fun personality tests on facebook once and it actually said something that kind of struck a chord with me. It told me that people look up to me, but that I come across as someone who is hard to get to know. I come across as standoffish and that I hold people at a distance.
Hmmm, I guess that this is probably true. I am quite sure that I do come across as standoffish because I am actually quite shy. I am not good at small talk, and I am TERRIBLE at starting conversations! I do feel as though I know myself quite well; my strengths as well as my weaknesses, and so I am actually quite a confident person. I know what I can and can't do. I also know that this could come across as standoffish because if I don't think that I can handle something, I say so.
Now, that being said, I am a person who LOVES to help out. If I get invited to a function or a get together, I am WAY more comfortable if I have a job to do. I would rather attend an event and be in charge of the food than just going and having to sit in a room full of people. It always seems interesting to me that if I attend something where I have a job to do I am alot more talkative and outgoing, but if I don't, I sit back and just watch people.
It is interesting that we can perceive people to be different than they actually are. What we see as one character trait could also be explained as being a different one, but we don't see it. Does it mean that we don't take the time to see it or does it mean that the things that we are looking for in others are actually reflections of how we see ourselves? Something to think about isn't it?